Everest Update – May 9, 2014
Yesterday marked one week since I returned from Mt Everest. I’m happy to be home sleeping in my bed, being able to take a shower every day, and experiencing the other comforts that we have here that are just not the same in the Khumbu, if you know what I mean. I am also slowly adjusting back to our time zone. In Nepal it was 12:45 hours ahead of California, so when I got back I wanted to sleep during the day and be awake at night. In a few more days I should be back on a normal schedule.
On a deeper level, I am still dealing with a lot of emotions surrounding the loss of the 16 Sherpa. On April 18 all of my emotions were centered on the tremendous loss of life we all felt in the aftermath of the avalanche. It was so sudden and final that nothing else mattered. Then those emotions soon got mixed with emotions over family and friends, and how do I get back to them safely. Once these raw emotions subsided (I was already on my way home) it became apparent that there was another loss that still had to be dealt with – the reason we all came to Everest in the first place. We came to climb. We came to challenge ourselves. We came to see if we could do it. Now that opportunity is gone. I am disappointed, frustrated, angry. I place no blame, but there is this feeling that I have some “unfinished business” left behind in Nepal. I know some of my team will be going back. I never say never, but right now I am not sure. I have a family that is very supportive, but I know my daughters have already said: “don’t do that to us again Dad.” That is a pretty clear message. Even though it was a privilege to be a part of our expedition I have an unwavering commitment to my daughters and the rest of my family. Just like the Sherpa families, my family doesn’t want to go through this again.
Being home for a week has given me some time to reflect, be sad, be angry, and just be. But it has also given me time to think about “what now?” I’ve spent the last 19 years climbing mountains all over the world, and more recently pursuing the Seven Summits. I have enjoyed it, been passionate about it, climbed with some awesome people, and been to some incredible places. But now what? What does one do after Everest? The past two months may have been my one shot at climbing Everest. And now it is over. Is there another “Everest” in my future? Quite simply, I don’t know. And nothing has shown up that indicates to me that there will be a new goal of that magnitude. And that will be OK with me. I will go about getting ready for whatever shows up. It is what I do. I am back in the gym with my trainer two days a week. I will continue peak hiking on Pyramid, Shasta and Whitney as I always have. And I will be back on my road bike again getting ready for the Tour de Tahoe in September. Not having an “Everest” right now, or ever, is fine because I don’t define myself by my goals. But preparing for a climb or a ride is what I do, and as Ben Franklin said: “Failing to prepare means you prepare to fail.” I just don’t know what I’m preparing for – today. Tomorrow may bring more clarity. But preparation is the key regardless.
Jim Geiger, Sacramento, May 9, 2014